why?

its weird. i have trust issues. but not always.
i try to be guarded, i try not to tell someone everything and count on them always being there until i know i can count on them at least being around for a while. but then, every so often, someone comes along. and for reasons i can't explain...i'm comfortable. i feel like i can just..tell them..anything. i hate it. they've done nothing to earn that trust and for all i know they couldn't care less or they'd tell other people without thinking twice. but for some reason, theres that understood, underlying connection and feeling, that i can trust them.
its exciting. but its terrifying. i'm bad at controlling it. i'll find myself saying things or opening up in ways i had no intent to.
with some things, all you have to do is ask.
with others, you don't even have to ask.
i dont know what it is, why its so easy,
but i'm not okay with it.
yet, i am.

i find myself thinking, if only you'd leave before i'd miss you. before i tell you anything. reality is that its too late for that. i'm already in too far. i've already told you too much. so don't leave. but don't make me tell you more. because if you ask, i'll tell you. and immediately wonder, why?

then as i ask myself that...why...your words echo in my head, that why is the eternal question of life. the sole question of our existance. and question that every answer comes down to.

so i ask you, why?